A guy who is good with women may know how to approach women or he may know how to date women , but the guy they call the natural knows how to approach women but more importantly knows how to date women .
If you want to start attracting more women into your life there is more to it than being able to just approach women when you are out, you need to know how to date women .The subject of approaching women is all over the internet and it seems that it is a skill that all guys quite rightly want to learn, but when it comes to the subject of dating for some reason there is very little useful information floating around. The fact is unless all you are going to do or want is one night stands you need to learn how to date women.
While some guys love being around women and dating for a majority of guys they are just not that excited about dating women, some guys don’t even follow up on the phone numbers they get.
If you ask these guys why they don’t like dating they will talk about how much it cost, the time, making an effort to seem interested, the nervous pauses and the effort they will have to make to find something to wear. May be you fit into one of these categories.
These are some common excuses I hear from my clients all the time, but after really getting to know them it has nothing to do with the above, they just don’t know how to date women, so when they do they come off as a bad date. What about you, are you a good date or are you a bad date?
Dating can in some instances be more important than approaching, if you meet a girl in a bar or club you both may have had a few drinks and been caught in the moment, but when you take a girl out for a first date this is when she is going to make her judgement and you will make yours of whether you want to pursue things any further.
There is no bigger disappointment for a guy than when he meets a beautiful girl, gets her number, takes her on one date and never hears from her again. When this happens it can really confusing and frustrating for guys. Most guys don’t understand what went wrong, chances are she did not enjoy herself, or found that you were a very different guy than she remembers you.It is very common for most of these guys to become jaded and cynical about the whole dating process when this happens.
Some of these guys will just stop approaching and dating women all together, but the problem is a few months down the track he starts to feel lonely, goes on another date and the whole circle begins again.If you have been on some bad dates or you are considered as a bad dater you need to understand that this is a very important part of the learning process, you now know was does not work.
There is no point beating yourself up about it. When you start to beat yourself up you will then start indulging in self-pity, helplessness and in some cases depression, when it comes to women none of these emotions will serve you in a good way. When you are suffering any of the above you will think to yourself if I could only get a woman everything would be better, so you become desperate and there is no bigger turn off for a woman than a desperate guy.
Believe me when I tell you it doesn’t have to be like this, knowing how to date women is a skill and just like every other skill out there it can be taught to anybody who not only wants to learn it but wants to master it. If you do choose to master the skill of dating, you can date as much or as little as you want and know you will always get a call the next day from her.
I think it is important to note here that when most people hear the word dating or first date, they instantly think dinner or dinner and a movie and you have to impress the girl so she will like you, now this was a fantastic way to date in the 50’s but times just like women have changed. Now there is nothing wrong with dinner and a movie maybe 10 dates in but for the first few dates dinner and a movie are both cliché and lame and will never create attraction.
Before I go a little more into how to date women I think it is important to know how not to date women, because if you are making these mistakes it is time to make some changes.
Here a 5 of the biggest mistakes guy make when they are on dates.
How To Date Women Mistake #1: Guys Try To Impress Women On Dates.
A lot of guys think when they date a girl for the first few times that they have to impress her so she will want to see him again. They will take her to the best restaurant or venue in town, most of the time the guy have never been there himself so really has no idea what to expect.
The thing here that a lot of guys don’t understand is if you take a woman to a place like this chances are she will feel uncomfortable and most of the time the guy feels uncomfortable to. The first few dates can be hard enough for most guys, so why make things harder? If you want to take her somewhere take her to a place that is more relaxed. Personally I would never take a girl out for dinner on the first date but more about that later.
Most guys who do try and go down this road do it for one reason which brings us to our second major mistake, he thinks he can buy her.
How To Date Women Mistake #2: Thinks He Can Buy Her.
Guys think that if they spend a lot of money on a date she will feel as though she has to sleep with him, nothing is further from the truth. If you want to spend money on a women and get a guaranteed result there are women that specialise in this field and charge by the hour.
Women don’t care how much you spend on a first date, all they want to do is get to know you better and have some fun. If she sees you spending a lot of money she will think that you now expect her to sleep with you, which makes things very uncomfortable. Keep a first date to no more than $30 bucks as a general rule.
How To Date Women Mistake #3: Keep Reliving The Same Date.
Some guys go on a different date every time they start seeing a new woman, others go on the same date over and over again when they start seeing a new women. There are guys out there that have what they call “their first date night plan” and they follow it rigidly. They will take a girl to the same place and ask the same questions.
There is nothing wrong with planning the evening if fact that is a good thing but when you go to the same place every time it will become boring for you and the woman you are with may think it is her you are bored with, have at least 5 venues that you use for a first date.
How To Date Women Mistake #4: Does Not Dress For The Occasion.
For most women dating can be an event, and they want to look their best. I personally have never been on a date with a woman who just threw something together at the last minute. When you ask a girl out the first thing she thinks is what I am going to wear. She will even call friends to get their advice on what outfit they think she should wear. This is an important thing to remember
If a woman goes to all this effort and you arrive in an old pair of jeans with a tee shirt you pick up off the floor on your way out it is not the best first impression to make, in fact what you are telling her is that you really couldn’t be bothered going to any effort for her, while she has made a huge effort for you.
Now I am not saying you have to suit up, just take a bit of time getting ready and look presentable with whatever you have chosen to wear. You don’t get a second chance at a first impression, so if she opens the door and sees you looking like a slob or have made no effort you are just making things harder for yourself before the night has really begun.
How To Date Women Mistake #5: Talks About Himself All Night.
Another major mistake guys make when dating is after the night has ended she knows everything about you from your first steps to what’s happening in your life at this point of time, you know nothing about her besides she is hot. Guys make this mistake because they want to try and impress her with achievements and great things he has done.
It is time to turn the tables on this one, when you are on a date with a women your mindset should be she needs to impress you. Let her tell you about herself, ask open ended questions and listen to what she says, this will give you a massive advantage over most guys. Most guy don’t listen they are too busy thinking of what they are going to say next, shut the internal dialogue off and listen to what she is saying.
A woman should walk away from a first date thinking to herself that you were a great guy but she still doesn’t know much about you, so she better see you again to find out more. This is a great way to get the second date. I am not saying that you should refuse to answer any of the questions she asks you what I am saying is always turn the conversation back to her, this is a skill that can be developed over time.
Another question I am regularly asked is what happens when the bill comes should I pay it or should we split it? This question can spark a huge debate. Here are my thoughts, if you ask a woman out no questions you should pay, like I have said earlier a first date should not cost more than 30 bucks so no big deal.
Splitting bills or figuring out who ate what can wreck a great night, a guy who I know tried to split a $14.00 bill with a girl and wondered why she never called him back.
Normally if a bill comes pick it up and pay it, if she says something like how much was it I will pay half, just saying something like “If you pay half then I will feel you are only paying because you think that if you payed half then I will now sleep with you, you have to work a lot harder for that and I can’t be bought” said with a smile on your face of course.
Pay the bill and get on with the night, so many guys come unstuck when the bill comes and they destroy a night that was going really well up until then. If you don’t have $30 to spend on a women if you take her out for a date then maybe you should be more worried about your finances than how to date women .
So how did you go with the above? Do any of them sound like some of the mistakes that you have been making in the past? If so don’t stress you are not alone, but I would advise you to re-think your dating habits, so let’s have a quick run through of what you should be doing to ensure you get the second date. These five things may seem small but they are very effective and can dramatically increase your success when dating:
How To Date Women #1 Make The Date Seem Natural.
For a woman there is no better feeling than when things just happen naturally. Normally when things appear to happen naturally there has been work put into it behind the scenes to make it look this way. If you really want your date to go well put a little planning into beforehand so things just seem to happen.
Now I am not saying your date should have military timing what I am saying is if things are going well and you want to go to another venue you should know where you are going. Never be on a date and say “I don’t know what do you want to do” it is an attraction killer, always have a second place in mind and a backup plan just in case.
How To Date Women #2 Build Attraction And Comfort With Her.
Dating is a great opportunity to spend some time with a girl one on one and create some attraction and comfort with her.
One of the biggest reasons guys don’t get the second date is because they did not create any comfort or attraction so she either feels unsafe around you or is just not attracted to you.
The most important element of dating is comfort; she needs to feel comfortable with you. You need to remember this may be the second time she has meet you, the first time her friends were around so she had a feeling of comfort, now she is alone with you. Building comfort by making her feel safe will not only make her let her guard down but will make the night more fun. If you build to much comfort or only build comfort you now have yourself a new best friend, that is why we need to build attraction in as well.
Attraction is the difference between her calling you the next day asking when she can see you again and her not wanting to see you again. When you are out with her at the same time you are building comfort you need to be building attraction as well.
Now remember attraction is built through the emotions you make her feel.
How To Date Women #3 Be A Gentleman.
I thought this one went without saying but from what I have seen and heard from my female friends it seems it is a rare quality in men these days. Now being a gentleman is not being a push over there is a big difference between the two of them. A gentleman is polite, cool under pressure and knows his self-worth, unlike a push over that will do anything to try and impress a women
Being a gentleman is about having a bit of class about you. Doing small things from opening a door for a woman to keeping your attention on her even if there is a super model sitting at the next table are very important to women. A gentleman does not brag or boast about his achievements he just takes them in his stride, he knows what to and what not to say and for some reason always has a beautiful woman on his arm
How To Date Women #4 Crack some Jokes.
It is ok to crack some jokes when you are out on a first date. Even if they are not that funny it can seem to ease a little tension that may be in the air. Just make sure your jokes are not racist, sexist or crude. Never use self-deprecation humor either unless you can pull it off, if you can’t she will think that you are just feeling sorry for yourself.
How To Date Women #5 Have Fun.
Dating is meant to be fun at least that is the idea. Everybody loves to have fun, try new things and have a great experience, dating is no different. If you can take a girl out and the two of you have a fun time together two things are going to happen. The first is she will be waiting for you to call so she can see you again. The second is she will tell her friends what a cool fun guy you are. Both are great things.
Another very important reason your date has to be fun is: I have said this many times before women make decisions based on emotions. If she has a bad day at work and that night goes on a fun date with you it will change her emotional state, when you can change a woman’s emotional state in a good way that is a massive attraction builder.
If you can start to incorporate these 5 small elements into your dating game you will never have to experience the frustration or disappointment of her not calling you back or telling you she likes you as a friend.
If you are serious about increasing your dating skills are coaching packages are the perfect option. Our one on one coaching packages can work through your sticking points when it comes to approaching women or dating women.
We tailor design our coaching programme to give you the knowledge to not only understand how to approach women and how to date women but we also design an action plan for you to get you out there and together we track your progress. Think of Learn To Approach as your secret weapon when it comes to approaching and dating women.
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